(Edit: Added links.)
Twice in one day?? MADNESS. But I’m pissed off, and that’s what happens.
I’m already riled up about gender issues from an email over freeculture-discuss earlier today, but this really annoyed me no end. I’m so seriously pissed off that I’m even going to try to refrain from making personal jibes. I won’t even make my usual comment about how the Crimson is a total wasteland of thought–oops.
Just now while checking my blog subscriptions, I followed a link from Kameron’s blog to an article in the Crimson by his summer roommate, Lena Chen, about their living arrangements. In it, she writes:
“There’s no doubt that Kameron’s sexual preference is what makes our relationship work. As much as I’d like to deny it, the cliché, heteronormative assertion that Harry made to Sally in the 1989 movie is true: Men and women can’t be just friends. Unless, of course, they both dig boys.”
What. The. FUCK.
This is a new low, Lena. A) Thanks for generalizing for all of humanity! I’m glad that you think your experiences speak for the rest of us. B) Also, thanks for setting the movement back!
I think I’m particularly riled up about this because of my current locale. In Jamaica, men really appreciate their women. And I mean really appreciate. I’m not really considered eye candy back home, but on a stroll anywhere at any time of the day, I’ll receive at least a couple of catcalls. If I stop anywhere for an appreciable amount of time and I’m not visibly occupied (like, say, at the beach?), men are constantly attempting to engage me with bad pickup lines, usually about my ethnicity. This really sucks, because I feel myself automatically assuming that when a man is trying to talk to me, he’s trying to get into my pants, when this ISN’T always the case. Lena Chen’s words are describing the same terrible world that these men are trying to create, one where people of the opposite gender are nothing more than sexual objects.
Wouldn’t it be easy if this were true and we can make cut-and-dry assumptions about people and blame our own lack of platonic friendship skills on, y’know, UNIVERSAL TRUTH about girls and boys and birds and bees?
Bullshit, Lena. I don’t care if that’s how you want to roll, but that’s not the world I’m living in.
My blocking group consist of 4 girls and 2 boys. We are all straight. Freshman year, our suite was a constant hangout place for all of us–Greg was often over until 3 or 4 in the morning, and Blake straight up just moved into the common room, hair products and all. In the time that the 6 of us have been living together, I’ve walked around in my underwear (or less) in front of the boys, climbed into bed with them for midday naps, and been through all the trials and tribulations of college life. There are no sparks and there is no sexual tension: we treat each other like friends, like roommates, like fellow human beings. And yes, thanks, we’re all plenty sexually liberated–you’ll find no True Love Revolution supporters in my room.
We are not the only ones. Open your eyes–everywhere you can see men and women being friends without being attracted to one another. Don’t say that we’re repressed–we’re not. It IS possible. I’m not sure what the secret is, though I think it’s an ability to see a person for more than his or her gender and sex, some emotional stability, and a more discriminating taste for sexual partners than “anything that has gibbly bits that fit into mine”. And maybe not being an alcoholic helps, too.
In conclusion: I love boys, and I love them as friends even more than I love them as romantic interests. I love being able to have friends who are boys without worrying about romantic entanglement. And Blake and GDye, even though I don’t write articles in the Crimson about how AMAZING it is that we can co-exist without problems, I love you the MOST =)
(See? I cheer up quickly.)